by: Margaret Wood 2/28/2018

Everyone and anyone who has experienced a slice of life will agree that it can be a roller coaster at times.  Maybe your job has you frustrated, a relationship has gone sour, kids getting into trouble or you just can’t seem to make headway. No matter how many self-help books you’ve read, at day’s end, nothing’s changed. You’re overwhelmed!

Before you read any further, take a minute to watch one of Bob Newhart’s funniest videos with a very sincere message:  Stop It!

Although Newhart only portrays a psychologist on tv, his straightforward advice emphasizes the need to get tough on yourself and stop repeating the same destructive behaviors over and over.

Here are 6 of the best tips to help you get out of your  head and into your life, minimizing your frustrations and clearing the path to help you move forward in a healthy manner.

1.Language Positivity 

Sit down and think about the day…did you get upset with someone, did someone get upset with you? Try to identify the cause and effect,.Was it something you said, something they said–or was it simply HOW it was said or HOW it was received.  What could have been said differently or how could it have been approached otherwise for a better outcome?

By taking a moment to focus on  your responses, and switching out negative words for positive ones, the outcome could turn out much better than expect. Language is crucial – people identify you by your choice of words, your style and how you deliver your message. By using positive phrases, you also disarm the other person who may be the aggressor, causing them to calm down as well.

By eliminating the negativity in your daily language, you will  start to eliminate the feeling of defeat, frustration, hopelessness and anger. Others will see you in a more positive light.

Instead of saying “I can’t” or “it won’t work”, what if you say, “I haven’t worked it all out yet” or “that may have merit”?  Choosing this type of language will not only help you feel hopeful, but will increase your optimism and deliver a sense of calm.

When discussing things with others, ask yourself whether your language is negative or positive and whether you are building or destroying something .

2.Iron Will

The path to achieving your goals lies in your willpower…and in order to build an iron will, you need to decide what and how much you are willing to sacrifice in the short-term in order to achieve your long-term goals.

If you can embrace uncertainty and surge forward on a path of self-improvement, whether it’s to lose weight, make your first million or have better relationships, you will need to be ready to take some risks. And even, you are not guaranteed success. The key is perseverance. You need to be rigorous in reaching those goals.

3.Solutions

In positivity training, you learn that you always have choices and control over your life. Although your choices may not always be optimum, making the right choices more often than not will help you learn to solve almost any issue you encounter.

The answer may not come to you immediately; just remember: the key is perseverance. You will eventually work through it and come out the other side that much stronger.

4. Get Out of Your Way!

Stop being a victim of your circumstances–they are not the impediment to your success unless you allow them to be. Recognize that you have control — get out of your head and don’t let these thoughts hold you back. It’s just your negativity getting in the way.  Get busy and make those bad situations better!

If you’re in a toxic relationship – GET OUT! If your boss is intolerable–GET A NEW JOB! If your grades are suffering –GET A STUDY PARTNER! Take control and do what you have to do! Keep the positivity momentum going!

 

5. As Nike says: Just do it ©

Stop overthinking! You want to lose weight – go to the gym and eat healthier! Don’t think about it! You want a raise, talk to your boss! You want new friends, start talking to people, at the gym, at work, at events! Don’t overthink situations! This just gets in your way! Get out there — Carpe Diem!

 

6. Reasonable Expectations

Stop ruminating about your fails and focus on your successes. Everyone experiences the frustration of working hard and not being rewarded as they see fit. The key here is to be accepting of all good things that come your way, even if it’s only an “atta boy”. Those “atta boys” add up!  Stay the course. Review your goals and expectations for reasonableness and understand your shortcomings.  Work on them!

The truth is:  Things don’t always turn out the way you want them to –  no more pity parties! Get out of your way and move on!