Leadership Flagship

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.~ John Quincy Adams

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  • What to Do When You Start Managing Former Peers

    What to Do When You Start Managing Former Peers

    • Liane Davey  SEPTEMBER 16, 2015 A Blog About Leadership & Management Advice
    It’s a common scenario: The company you work at is growing. Suddenly, a new layer of management is created, and thus a new role opens up. Leadership in the company wants to promote internally, so you and a number of your peers apply.

    Only one person can get the job and now that you have it, your peers report to you. Awkward.

    Managing former peers can be okay if you have a strong relationship with them; they may even been rooting for you or felt you were most deserving. Those people will be genuinely happy for you, and ready to follow you.

    Unfortunately, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows

    There’s likely to be at least one person who resents you. They wanted the job. They may think they can do a better job. They may not have liked you before, and now they really don’t like you. They may passively or actively undermine you as a leader.

    You may also feel uncomfortable as people who were your peers, who you commiserated and socialized with now report to you. The awkwardness can easily go beyond the walls of your office as your friendship has to switch between “friend-mode” and “manager-mode” on a regular basis.

    Here are a few approaches you can use when you face these challenges in managing former peers.

    How to Approach Managing Former Peers
    As a leader, the example you set is critical, so the first thing you should do is to relax and be confident. Your company chose you because they believe you are the best person for the job. Embrace that and use those feelings to help you take on these challenges.

    1) Take the awkwardness head on
    There’s no avoiding it. There’s going to be some awkwardness in your new role. So why not take it head on?

    Your one on ones are a great time to clear the air. Let your former peers vent. Listen. Ask good questions and get their opinions.

    Often, people just want to feel heard. By letting them air any grievances and talking about how they feel, you can then work together to address the awkwardness. Whether that’s because they also wanted the job or they’re not sure how this affects your friendship, you will be creating a dialogue around the issues. You’ll be removing the elephant from the room right away.

    As Sheryl Sandberg wrote about handling tough conversations with her team after her husband’s death,

    “Once I addressed the elephant, we were able to kick him out of the room.”

    If you come with an open mind, you may discover valuable insights. For instance, if they thought they were a better choice for the role, ask what weaknesses in your leadership style you could improve? This can both make you a better leader by learning what they thought you were lacking, while also showing you’re listening to them.

    It also sets the expectation that just because you’re the leader doesn’t mean you won’t take their input. As Ed Catmull wrote of the value of candor in management:

    “Candor isn’t cruel. It does not destroy. On the contrary, any successful feedback system is built on empathy, on the idea that we are all in this together, that we understand your pain because we’ve experienced it ourselves.”

    Having the courage to take on these awkward questions right away sends a strong message on how you face challenges and value their input. This is a great way to build your new manager-team member relationship with them.

    2) Use your previous role to your advantage

    If you have been working with your peers for a long time, you probably know them pretty well. That means you know their strengths and weaknesses, and you can set them up for success.  Delegate work that you know they can do well and give them the trust and autonomy to do it.

    This isn’t just logical; it’s backed by research. As Gallup found in their “State of the American Manager” research, when people have the chance to work on their strengths daily, they’re significantly more engaged:

    Managing former peers – lean on their strengths
    Deloitte found similar, powerful benefits:

    “…almost all the variation between high- and lower-performing teams was explained by a very small group of items. The most powerful one proved to be “At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day.”

    …Furthermore, this can be a great olive branch.  No, they didn’t get the promotion you received, but you can give them a great project or responsibility they’re excited about. Even if they’re resentful, this can help melt away some of those feelings knowing you have their interests at heart.

    This is also a primary reason why peer one on ones are so powerful.

    You build these relationships before you need them, and then are just transitioning a habit you already had into a more frequent manager-team member conversation. Even better, you’ll have more power to do something about problems you may have previously only been able to commiserate on. With that in mind, consider looking for new peers to connect with at your new level to get advice and build more valuable relationships.

    3) Accept they may need to move on
    Ultimately, not everyone may work out. If they’re too bitter about the situation, then even your best efforts may not turn them around. It’s not your fault.

    As Jim Collins’s classic book, Good to Great, discusses, you need to get everyone “On the Bus.”  As he puts it:

    “The leaders who ignited the transformations from good to great did not first figure out where to drive the bus and then get people to take it there. No, they first got the right people on the bus (and the wrong people off the bus)”

    Make the best effort you can, but recognize it’s a two way relationship: they have to be willing to come around, too. If they’re not meeting you halfway despite your best efforts over time, tell them. Have a frank conversation in your one on ones with them about if they’re going to be able to be successful in their current role or if they’d be happier pursuing the same kind of opportunity elsewhere.

    No matter how talented someone may have been before your promotion, if they’re now creating a toxic, negative environment, you have to make a change. This is especially true if they are a manager.

    Gallup has found a manager’s attitude and level of engagement directly impacts the engagement of their team: managing former peers, the cascade effect negatively impacts an unhappy manager.

    This means their lack of happiness and attitude will infect their team, costing you all of their productivity and risking turnover for everyone.

    Give it a few months to [help them] see how you’re working hard to help everyone on the team. If they still aren’t cooperative, then you should be candid with them about [seeking employment] elsewhere… or letting them go.

    On the flip side, don’t give up on anyone too soon; if it was a close call between you and them, give them space and focus on those who are willing to work with you.

    Fear of missing out is powerful, especially when a manager may realize they’re hurting their whole team by fighting you instead of collaborating.  If they see you helping others and acting in everyone’s best interests, they may come around. It just may not be overnight.

    The key to handling any uncomfortable situation is to not ignore it.

    Engage your team and find ways to solve the problem. Talking about it and taking action are the only ways any situation will improve. That’s true whether that’s setting clear borders on your friendship while in the office, or helping someone get over the sting of being passed over for a promotion.

     

  • The Defining Characteristics of Servant Leadership

    The Defining Characteristics of Servant Leadership

    by Refresh Leadership on August 28, 2018 in Emerging Leaders, Inspiration and Motivation

    Think back to the best boss you’ve ever had. What qualities set them apart from the rest? Did they show confidence in their decisions and consideration for how they affected others? Did they strive to gain understanding about difficult situations rather than simply reacting? Did they put a high priority on helping you develop in your career? If you answered yes to these questions, you likely had a boss who was a servant leader.

    It’s no surprise that effective leadership is one of the most significant forces affecting job satisfaction and success for employees.

    And the best leaders are the ones who truly seek to “serve” the people they lead—a defining characteristic that builds employees’ trust and dedication and can also have a significant impact on other important workforce management factors like employee retention and engagement.

    In fact, a survey conducted by BambooHR showed that 44% of participants said “a bad boss has been the primary reason they have left a job.” Furthermore, a Gallup study found that only 3 in 10 employees strongly agree that there is someone at work who encourages their development and only 21% of employees strongly agree their performance is managed in a way that motivates them to do outstanding work.

    Employees and companies alike flourish under servant leadership and those that embrace a “servant” mentality in the way they lead their people, as well as the way they interact with customers, will prosper.

    Servant Leadership Defined
    The concept of servant leadership has roots in ancient philosophies dating back as far as sixth-century B.C. Chinese philosopher and writer Laozi. In his seminal text, Tao Te Ching, he wrote:

    “The highest type of ruler is one of whose existence the people are barely aware.

    Next comes one whom they love and praise.

    Next comes one whom they fear.

    Next comes one whom they despise and defy.

    When you are lacking in faith,

    Others will be unfaithful to you.

    The Sage is self-effacing and scanty of words.

    When his task is accomplished and things have been completed,

    All the people say, ‘We ourselves have achieved it!’”

    The coining of the term “servant leadership” and the modern definition of the concept, however, is often attributed to consultant and author Robert K. Greenleaf. In a 1970 essay, he explains the concept as:

    “The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions…The leader-first and the servant-first are two extreme types. Between them, there are shadings and blends that are part of the infinite variety of human nature.

    “The difference manifests itself in the care taken by the servant-first to make sure that other people’s highest priority needs are being served. The best test, and difficult to administer, is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society? Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?“

    Though separated by millennia, the two definitions hit on several key concepts that have stood the test of time in defining servant leadership.

    Self-awareness
    “Self-awareness is our capacity to stand apart from ourselves and examine our thinking, our motives, our history, our scripts, our actions, and our habits and tendencies.” – Stephen Covey

    A strong sense of self is essential to servant leadership. True servant leaders possess a quiet confidence in their own beliefs and abilities, allowing them to better focus on the people they lead. Their actions aren’t driven by ego or “what’s in it for me?” They are more concerned with “what’s in it for them?”

    Empathy and Understanding

    “No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” ― Theodore Roosevelt 

    This is a characteristic of servant leadership that can’t be faked. The best leaders take a genuine and vested interest in the people they lead and consider the impact their actions and decisions carry. Employees who work for an empathetic leader know their concerns are not falling on deaf ears and trust that they’ll seek to understand a situation before acting.

    Develops and empowers others

    “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” — John Quincy Adams 

    Perhaps the cornerstone of servant leadership, the desire to develop and empower the people they lead is a key characteristic that builds trust and devotion for great leaders. When employees know their career goals are understood and have a boss who actively helps them achieve those goals, increased engagement, productivity, and retention will follow.
    What are some examples of servant leadership you’ve experienced in your career? How do you strive to be a servant leader yourself? Let us know in the comments section below.

  • 12 Things Mentally Strong People Do That Nobody Else Does

    12 Things Mentally Strong People Do That Nobody Else Does

    Most people run away from their fears, but not the mentally strong.

    John Rampton ENTREPRENEUR VIP

    You’ve no doubt heard a million times that you should exercise. But how many people have suggested that you become more mentally fit?

    I’m not just talking about doing a crossword puzzle to combat dementia — I’m talking about becoming mentally strong. When you do, you’ll be better equipped to regulate your thoughts, manage your emotions and boost your productivity.

    Here are 12 things mentally strong people do.

    1. They practice gratitude

    Instead of focusing on their burdens or what they don’t have, mentally strong people take stock of all the great things they do have. There are several ways to practice gratitude, but the simplest way to start is just by thinking of three things you’re grateful for each day. You can also start a gratitude journal to jot down all the good things you experienced throughout the day or adopt gratitude rituals, such as saying grace before a meal.

    2. They say “no”

    “Research from the University of California in San Francisco shows that the more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression,” writes Travis Bradberry, Ph. D.

    Saying “no” may be a problem for some, but not for the mentally strong. Instead of accepting every social invite or helping co-workers with every project, they just say “no.” This way, they can complete their own work and not overcommit themselves.

    If you think you’re a failure, guess what? You’ll probably end up failing. That self-fulfilling prophecy is predicting your fate.

    Instead, use that self-fulfilling prophecy to your advantage by believing you’re going to succeed. This can be a challenge, but it’s possible if you pay attention to your thoughts. Don’t ignore those negative thoughts — acknowledge them, and then do something positive to distract yourself.

    Take a look at the evidence on both sides. By jotting down the good and the bad, you’ll notice that some of those negative thoughts are irrational. Find balance: Rather than beat yourself up, look at your flaws as ways to improve.

    4. They expose themselves to pain

    Muhammad Ali once said that he didn’t count his sit-ups; he only started counting when it hurt because those were the ones that counted.

    Mentally strong people are willing to endure pain as long as there’s a purpose. They don’t go through a challenging workout, for example, just to prove how tough they are. After all, science has said that there’s some truth to that old saying “No pain, no gain.”

    5. They create their own definition of success

    When I started my first business, things were tough — especially when it failed. To rub salt in the wound, I saw my neighbors purchasing new cars or high school friends posting pictures of their travels.

    For them, that meant they were successful. Even though my business failed, I was still successful. I had an amazing wife and was able to pick myself back up. Today, I’m a successful entrepreneur.

    That’s not to boast. My point is that the successful have their own definition of success. For example, I work with freelancers who don’t make what some would consider a lot of money. But they see themselves as successful because they’re doing what they love with a flexible schedule.

    6. They delay gratification

    There’s a well-known Stanford University study in which an administrator left a child alone with a marshmallow for 15 minutes. The experimenter, before leaving, told the child that she could eat the marshmallow. However, if she waited until he returned, she would get a second marshmallow.

    After 40 years of research, it was found that the children who waited experienced better outcomes in life, including higher SAT scores, greater career success and even a lower body mass index.

    The point is that delaying gratification is paramount to success. That’s why people with mental strength are willing to put off gratification. They know that results only take place after they’ve put in the time and effort.

    7. They don’t blame others.

    Mentally strong people never, and I mean never, blame others for their mistakes or shortcomings. They take full responsibility for their actions. Doing so means they don’t give power to others, remain stuck or become negative people.

    8. They practice realistic optimism.

    Mentally strong are optimistic. But they also understand that they can’t be overly optimistic. As Dr. Mara Karpel explains, “It’s unproductive to believe that challenges will magically disappear or goals will be manifested without taking any action in the real world.”

    Mentally strong people practice realistic optimism instead. This means they take into account the challenges facing them and focus on what they can do to accept or overcome those realities. I’ve found that most start with schedule things ahead of when they need to be done. This way they are optimistic and have wiggle room.

    9. They acknowledge their limitations

    Although the mentally strong push themselves, they also know when it’s time to throw in the proverbial towel. They’re aware of their weaknesses, and they don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed.

    While some leaders are hesitant to show vulnerability, doing so enables them to learn more and become better than they were yesterday. Enhancing their skill set is more important than protecting their ego.

    10. They don’t compare themselves to others

    Remember, the mentally strong are stingy with their time and energy. So why waste it on worrying about what others are doing? Feelings like jealousy and resentment aren’t just exhausting; they’re pointless.

    Instead, they appreciate others and celebrate their accomplishments with them. This creates optimism — which is a win-win for everyone. According to a Harvard University study, a sense of optimism may be able to reduce the risk from dying of major causes, such as cardiovascular disease.

    11. They enjoy feeling scared

    Most people run away from their fears, but not the mentally strong. They not only seek them out, but they also enjoy the feeling of being scared.

    That may sound unusual, but they realize that being afraid pushes them out of their comfort zone. As a result, they experience new things, meet new people and learn more about themselves.

    There are also health benefits associated with fear. This includes keeping your brain vigilant and alert, balancing bodily functions like your immune system and motivating you to accomplish goals.

    12. They respect, and even like, their competitors

    Mentally strong people aren’t afraid, intimidated by or jealous of their competitors. In fact, they respect and even like them.

    They realize their competitors can be their greatest teachers. They can learn what the competition did right or wrong. They can see what differentiates them and use that as inspiration for their own next move.

    Steve Jobs and Bill Gates had a love-hate relationship. However, both men ultimately supported and respected each other, with Gates once saying, “I’d give a lot to have Steve’s taste.” Jobs admitted, “I admire him for the company he built — it’s impressive — and I enjoyed working with him. He’s bright and actually has a good sense of humor.”

    Becoming mentally strong doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s worth the journey. It can make you — and your business — resilient enough to withstand anything.

  • Employee’s Right to Unplug – 11 Ways Companies Can Show Support

    Employee’s Right to Unplug – 11 Ways Companies Can Show Support

    by Rachel Bolsu • 

    With the prevalence of technology, there is rarely an email, chat message, or notification that goes by unnoticed. Flexible scheduling and remote teams necessitate communications at all hours of the day and night. As a result, the traditional boundaries of being on and off the clock are much harder to decipher.

    In this new landscape, the question becomes, do employees have the right to disconnect? Trends in labor legislation lean toward the affirmative. In fact, New York City has even proposed a bill that would ban after-hours emails.
    As the workforce continues to demand holistic work-life balance, it’s up to managers and HR teams to make sure employees feel encouraged to disconnect after hours. We asked 11 employees, managers, and HR pros to share their best tips and practices for supporting better work-life balance. Here’s what they had to say:

    1. Set Company Standards

    “Six months ago, we created a company policy that prohibits sending emails, texts, calls, etc. after 5pm or before 9am. The results have been amazing—productivity increased by 11.4% and staff retention improved by 7.1%!”
    – Cristian Rennella, CEO & CoFounder at oMelhorTrato.com

    2. Mark the End of the Work Day

    “It’s easier to unplug if you celebrate a good work day, rather than holding a badge of honor for working late. I do this by shutting my laptop and saying out loud, ‘today was a great work day.’ It gives me permission to stop working and validates my day.”
    – Sarah Moe, Co-Founder / Chief Happiness Officer at Flauk

    3. Utilize Communication Tools

    “In Google Calendar, there are settings that allow you to set your work hours. If someone tries to schedule a meeting with you outside of those work hours, they are informed that you may not be available. The technology auto-declines meetings so you never have to say no. I also use Quiet for Gmail––an app that allows you to silence notifications during your set Quiet Hours.”
    – Lauren Crain, Digital Marketer at HealthLabs.com

    4. Honor PTO

    “Before going on vacation I review all open items and ensure appropriate coverage. This way, nothing falls through the cracks when I’m out and frees me from feeling a need to check in. When a team member goes on vacation, I draft an email to send upon their return. This allows me to organize ideas and updates all in one email, so they won’t be tempted to check in before returning or have to wade through the usual swamp of messages when they get back.”
    – Kerry Wekelo, Managing Director HR/Operations at Actualize Consulting

    5. Set Clear Boundaries

    “I used to take regular ski trips and would not bring my laptop or cell phone. My boss and office staff knew that I would not be available during that week, and I gave them a window of time where I would plan to check in with my administrative assistant in case anything urgent came up.”
    – Timothy G. Wiedman, D.B.A., PHR Emeritus, Associate Prof. of Management & Human Resources (Retired) at Doane University

    6. Unplug During Work Hours

    “I cannot emphasize enough how important unplugging is—but not just from work, but in appropriate ways at work! During meetings, are people multitasking through email or texts? When leaders monitor devices during a conversation, they indicate that the person in front of them is less important. Leaders should model behavior that demonstrates the importance of being present both at work and at home.”
    – Dr. Kathryn Bingham, CEO at LEADistics LLC

    7. Encourage Hobbies

    “We have a little music room in the office so employees can take breaks during the day to play. Playing piano has helped me get my creative juices flowing and refocus on what I need to do. Playing any instrument is scientifically proven to engage practically every area of the brain at once—especially the visual, auditory, and motor cortices.”
    – Gene Caballero, Co-Founder at GreenPal

    8. Follow A Routine

    “In the morning, I try not to look at my phone until I’ve meditated or journaled. On Sunday evenings, I put aside my laptop and phone, take a warm bath, and don’t look at them again until Monday morning. These routines give me space to get my thoughts together before plugging back in.”
    – Taylor Morrison, Founder at Emancipation

    9. Lead by Example

    “HR can set the standard by disconnecting themselves. The first step is to not respond to emails after hours and definitely don’t send them! Encourage this same behavior from leadership. Take time to stop and think about whether or not something needs to be communicated immediately or if it can wait until morning. We can change this idea of 24/7 connection if we communicate expectations and encourage staff to disconnect. Be the change you want to see!”
    – Wendy Dailey, HR Business Partner, South Dakota State University

    10. Practice Empathy

    “HR can encourage employees to disconnect with work after hours by being empathetic and transparent. Research connects working longer hours to absenteeism and employee turnover, so HR should communicate and guide employees to set boundaries during their off time.”
    – Anthony Paradiso, MS, SHRM-CP, Human Resources Business Partner at Industrial U.I. Services

    11. Sign Off from Personal Devices

    “Personal devices keep us connected to work 24/7. I advise people to not sync any business emails or work accounts to their own devices. It is very tempting to check a work email that pops up on your phone, and a simple notification can be a gateway to multiple emails. For some, this is not possible, so at least set aside an hour or two to unplug. You will thank yourself!”
    – Tracy Julien, VP of Marketing at GuidedChoice

    Though emailing employees after hours may not be against the law (yet), encouraging healthier work-life balance can have a major impact on employee productivity and morale. You don’t want your workforce to experience burnout or resentment toward management, so make sure your company culture supports each employee’s right to disconnect after hours.

    Work-life balance is just one part of the employee experience.

  • 5 Habits to Build Mental Toughness

    5 Habits to Build Mental Toughness

    Being mentally tough, resilient, and willing to persevere when the chips are down are all qualities that will lead to your long-term success.

    People often like to believe they are stronger than they are, emotionally as well as physically. But the problem with this overestimation is that—after we take a tumble, whether at work or in our personal lives—we realize that we’re not as mentally tough as we thought we were.

    How, then, do we improve our mental strength? Through practice, it seems. Practice these five habits to build mental toughness and adopt them into your daily routine—your personal growth might astound you.

    1. Regard the past through a different lens

    When looking back at negative events in our lives, many of us fixate on how we would have acted differently, or circumstances we wanted to change. Looking at the past as a learning experience—and leaving it as that—is actually much more beneficial to us in the long run than constantly replaying what went wrong and beating ourselves up over it.

    2. Don’t dwell on the things you can’t control

    Why would you waste your time on situations that you cannot exert any power over? Spend less time hating, less time dwelling, less time reflecting on things already past and outcomes already finished. You can then devote your precious energy to other, more important things that will impact your work and life going forward.

    3. Be happy for others

    Even when a coworker scores a promotion you wanted, or a colleague gets that corner office that you had your eye on, make sure that you sincerely celebrate their joy with them. It’s good practice to be able to compartmentalize your own feelings of failure separately from their successes. After all, resentment can be the most crippling of emotions.

    4. Know that you are in control of your destiny

    Remember that it is you who ultimately determines your day-to-day outcomes and your faraway future. Do everything with intention, and remain confident that you have the ability and power to make your situation better if and when you decide to.

    5. Stay grateful

    Giving thanks is one of the things we do least as people—and definitely one of the things we need to do more. Realizing the good things we do have, instead of focusing on what we don’t, allows us to move forward productively from any negative situation. So stay strong, and carry on.